How to deal with Orbiting?


Sometimes trying to get rid of an ex is harder than trying to get rid of a red wine stain. 

If only we could use Vanish on them, life would be easier.

I’ve been through my fair share of break-ups and I’ve always been fascinated by how we choose to move on… or not. With hindsight, it’s clear to see what we ‘should’ have done, but not so easy in the actual moment.  Whether you chose to end the relationship or have been royally dumped, it’s not fun. So how do we cut ties with an ex that’s lurking behind the screens?  Should we accept they’ll always be around in some way?

Thanks to social media, this is more prevalent than ever. There are new terms being used in order to deal with the behaviours. One of the newer ones is ‘Orbiting’ …. which explains the behaviour of a person (an ex or a person you were interested in), who has ended the relationship or communication, in fact won’t even answer your texts - but decides to linger or “orbit” around your life by liking and commenting on all your posts. It’s somewhat more confusing than ‘ghosting’, which is when someone stops all contact with you for no particular reason’ but still as mindboggling and hurtful.      

 So what do you do when you’re being orbited?  (You, my friend, would be the ‘orbitee’)

 ·     Wingman trust – Firstly, do lean on your trusted friends to help you through it.  Your wingmen will always have a protective and logical voice to cut through the internal madness you may start telling yourself.   

·     Block/unfollow – If they are becoming a serious hindrance to your ability to move on, you should try limiting their access on how they show up in your life. 

·     Don’t watch – Even though it’s tempting to watch their latest Instagram story from your secret IG account, it’s like punching yourself in the face… there is no benefit other than to hurt yourself.    

·     Limit temptation – You wake up in the night, unable to sleep and figure it cannot hurt to have a flick through their IG … after an hour, you have now looked at their friends, their tag and locations and wasted another hour of your life on this spineless twit.  Leave your phone downstairs if you have to.

·     Invest your time wisely – Whether that’s in a friend, a new hobby or yourself, use your time to focus on what you have right now.  By putting your attention onto something new, it will ensure you are not as focussed on them. 

My friends were always the first to be outraged on my behalf, to cry on my behalf and always the first to lift me up. When you come out of a relationship or break things off with someone you were really interested in, it’s normal for your confidence to take a hit and leave you vulnerable. The idea is to block that person from taking any more of your confidence. Who needs a ghostbuster when you have a shield of friends?